3 Questions to Ask if a Parent is Refusing Home Care

Gina’s mom moved in with her and her husband during the pandemic, which they were pleased with. Mom had shown signs of forgetfulness and wasn’t keeping herself or her home as tidy as she always had. Gina was relieved that she and her husband, who were both working from home, could be there with her mother.

Unfortunately, things changed when Gina’s and her husband’s employers made returning to the office mandatory. Mom definitely needed someone with her during the day to help her with meals, drive her to doctor’s appointments, and keep her company.

When Gina suggested to her mother that they hire a caregiver to come on weekdays and help her out, Gina’s mom became very defensive and angry. She said she was perfectly fine taking care of herself during the day, and “she wasn’t going to pay good money to have someone come and babysit me.”

Gina knew her mother couldn’t stay home alone, and her mom wasn’t ready, and wouldn’t be willing, to be moved into a facility. Gina’s only option was to have a professional caregiver come to their home when she and her husband were working.

Gina wanted to understand why her mother was refusing home care, but she couldn’t quite figure out how to get to the bottom of it.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you? Are you or someone you know struggling with getting an aging parent to accept that home care is necessary? If so, here are three questions you can ask that will help you understand the motivation behind their reluctance and help them accept that it’s time for home care.

Are you worried you’re going to lose your independence?

This is an excellent question since independence is so important to everyone, including seniors. Like everyone else, they struggled as teens to gain their independence, and they’ve enjoyed having it as an adult for many decades. Naturally, they cling to it.

If this is the case, reassure them they are not giving up their independence. Instead, they’re just getting some help with a few things that aren’t easy for them to do any longer, like cooking, driving, or bathing. Remind your parent of all the things they can do and that they will still be able to do them.

Is losing your privacy a concern?

Everyone enjoys their privacy, especially seniors. Their generation grew up a little more modest than their children and grandkids. Being embarrassed by the thought of someone helping them bathe, dress, or go to the bathroom is understandable.

Commit to your senior loved one that you’ll begin having a caregiver come to their home for just a few hours a week on a trial basis. Your loved one’s anxiety will lessen, and they’ll have a chance to build trust with a caregiver more slowly (though you might be surprised how quickly it develops). Their privacy concerns will be alleviated in a relatively short period.

Is it the cost that worries you?

Understandably, another reason why a senior is refusing home care is the cost. Their current income level may never be higher than it is now, which worries them. Discussing finances and home care costs are warranted if that’s bothering them. When a senior is refusing home care, the effective way for you and your loved one is to meet with a home care agency.

When a senior is refusing home care, the effective way for you and your loved one is to meet with a home care agency. They can explain the cost of home care and help you explore your payment options (i.e., Medicare, VA benefits, long-term care insurance, private pay). Many seniors find home care isn’t nearly as expensive as they thought it would be.

Call AmeriCare Plus in Virginia for Assistance

Our team at AmeriCare Plus has been helping seniors feel comfortable with receiving home care for over 26 years. We understand the stress and anxiety many seniors have, and our compassionate caregivers will ease your loved one’s minds and help them quickly acclimate to receiving care.

Contact us today or fill out this short online request for information. We’ll be happy to visit with your family and serve you from one of our ten locations in Virginia.